Raising Children In Retirement
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
In the US in 2021, 2.74 million grandchildren were being raised by one or more grandparents. Whether it be due to death or incapacity of their adult child, a grandparent is usually the first to step up when a grandchild needs care. For many, their good-hearted nature causes them to step in. But raising children later in life can be entirely challenging for someone who has retired or is preparing to retire.
When most people save for retirement, they are not expecting to take on raising a child. They may have set aside money for their grandchild's future, but those funds would never cover the day-to-day expenses required, things like clothing, food, toys, technology, health care, and even tuition. Along with that, there can be the costs of court action and custody battles. These circumstances and new responsibilities can take a substantial toll on a retiree's finances.
My family has first-hand experience with this situation. My mom had me at age 18. Circumstances arose that forced everyone to hunker down and help. My grandparents (on my mom's side) weren’t prepared to have their daughter living with them for an extended time, let alone having to deal with a baby in the house. Thankfully, my grandparents had enough money to help financially support us while my parents got on their feet.
My dad’s parents have faced this situation, too. They’re almost 70, and have dealt with a lot more in their retirement than they did during their careers. They helped raise their oldest daughter's two sons, and had to navigate the difficulties of shared custody with the children's father. While they were helping to raise the two boys, my grandparents were still working. Once the boys had become adults, my grandparents retired and moved to the shore. Not long after they moved, their granddaughter came along. Then, tragedy struck. Their adult daughter died suddenly, leaving them to raise their five-year-old granddaughter. Their once comfortable, well-deserved retirement was hit with not only an emotional alteration, but a financial one as well. They have added a new human to their routine, taking responsibility for her clothing, food, shelter, schooling, and, on a larger scale, her legal guardianship.
The idea of this may seem daunting, as it was for my grandparents. But, when given the right resources and an understanding of the matter, there are many ways to take on this challenge and make things lot easier. Fortunately, there is some government assistance that can help grandparents when taking on a new endeavor like this. Depending on the family situation, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), and Medicaid or the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) can help bring necessary aid to the family. Another resource can come from having the child listed as a dependent, which would enable the grandparents to apply for the Child Tax Credit to receive a break on their taxes. In my opinion, one of the most beneficial steps for grandparents in this situation would be to hiring a financial advisor. When there is suddenly another mouth to feed, it is important to bring someone in to help navigate spending or saving decisions. I also believe it is important to prioritize mental health in this situation, so speaking to someone like a therapist or other professional is helpful in staying healthy and balanced.
My grandparents have benefitted from having people in their corner, whether they are professionals or family members and friends who just want to help. When my grandparents need a few days off from their parenting duties, my family will welcome my cousin at our house for a mini vacation. It helps take the burden off of my grandparents for at least a few days, and creates a lasting impression for my cousin that she has people looking out for her. Meeting with her therapist gives my little cousin a “break from the old people,” as my grandpa likes to call it, but it also is beneficial for my grandparents to know that she has access to another caring adult. Like I said previously, no one really expects this to happen, but when it does, it is best to be open to help and support in many forms.
At the end of the day, raising a grandchild in retirement isn’t something most people plan for, but life has a way of throwing us into roles we never expected. What matters most is how we respond. For grandparents like mine, stepping up wasn’t a question. While the financial and emotional weight can be heavy, they’ve shown that with love, support, and the right resources, it’s possible to carry that load and still build a fulfilling life for my cousin in their care. It’s not always easy, and there will be days that feel overwhelming, but when community and smart planning come together, it becomes manageable. In retirement, sometimes the most unexpected paths lead to the most meaningful chapters, like getting the chance to raise your grandchild.
